argh.......vommitting blood......
saturday, never perform at tampiness mall, never even go and support...hiax...
i'm so so damn sad...my stash, i bought it with my own money, $40 but cant even get to wear it once...only when after syf then it came...my drum major badge also i never wear bafore... all of the above i never waer beofre then my successor wear it, fresh and never worn before one....so sad...i wish i would appeaar in a stash, but this is no longer going to come through...
i feel so xin ku inside...things that i earn then i cant even wear it at all...then hengki never even earn for it,can get to wear it on my expense.....hiax.....
my birthday coming, but to me, this year borthday is just like any other day in the calender, cause its like so meaningless to me....maybe its because i'm now all depressed...
yesterday went parco, saw so many things that i want , but when ask whether i want them, i said no, dunno why, but its like i want those things but i dont want to spend money....bmaybe its because of the australia thingy, i want to save money for a year ther...
but yesterday daddy told me there was no way i am going to study there,cause in civil service, he cant be the gurantor for my study loan, then its too expensive for me to study there nad that what's the use..
told me second cousin lenli about the australia thingy and she told me not bad, but maybe i have to really prove my results out to him to show him i'm worth it...but i think at the end of the day, if i go over there to study next year, she will be mine gurantor, cause its like she is really well-off and the couple are both accountants and they are close to me....hiax, i dunno wad to do,so lost.....
this year mine wish is onli that i will be able to cope with life, a simple wish isn't it???so hope it comes true........not so sweet sixteen
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